Within the family, good communication is among the fundamental prerequisites for good functioning. And in this truth, there is also a large hook. Poor communication is also the most common problem with which adults and children in families struggle.

Why? They often feel that nobody cares about their opinion, and that no one is listening. Children complain about their busy parents, who do not have enough time and patience to talk. Parents in turn know, or at least suspect, that they do not give their children as much time and attention as they really deserve.

Children need us to listen to them

When we talk about listening, we mean the time that you give children to express their feelings. To share emotions related to the events in their lives, or even just to tell you how they spent the day. Chat time should occur when you feel that your child is ready to share their experiences with you, and when you are not in a hurry.

Give the child as much time they need, even if that means going to bed ten minutes later than usual. It’s still better than if he can’t get to sleep just because he didn’t say something that is weighing heavily on his soul. Everything your child says is important to him. And he should have a chance to say it.

Look at your child when he speaks. It is important to give him your total attention, your whole personality, so don’t let other family members or a ringing telephone interrupt or distract you. Think of it this way, that at the moment, there is nothing more important than your mutual communication.

How to do it

Repeat the main points. What the child says to you, repeat aloud – stress the main points to make it clear that you are listening to him carefully. Also, give him space to explain if necessary.

Respect his feelings. Often, the problems and worries of your children may seem petty to you. However, these troubles, at the same time, may weigh on them like the greatest burden. Do not take anything of what you learn lightly.

Don’t give unwanted advice. Before you give him any advice on the problem that the child confided, ask if he even wants it. They may have their own idea of how to resolve the situation, and just want to make sure that it is correct. Ask questions to find out what your child needs.

Don’t criticize and order around. Nobody like being criticized and pushed around. Commands and prohibitions. Of course, not even children. Parents tend to feel that they have no other choice, because the child does not do what they want. Instead, explain to the child the benefits that arise from performance completion, and givehim time to complete the task. Offer at least two options.

Consider your words. Words have great influence, be aware of that, and choose them wisely. Drop the word “but” from your vocabulary, itsmacks of criticism. Instead of: “I like how you played, but it wasn’t good on the green,” say, “I like how you played. The next time, you will improve on the green, and it will be even better. ”

Nonverbal communication. Hug, touch, kiss, caress, smile, wink, everything is extremely important for children. Gestures give children the courage to try new things, and support their self-esteem.